The real reason I superglued my leg wound

Annoying Google navigation lady, please stop telling me what to do. I can flipping-well get there myself. Ikea assembly instructions, get out of my sight. You are headed straight to the bin, along with all these leftover screws. Doctors, pfft! Why would I have one of those clowns stitch up this gaping leg wound when I have a perfectly good tube of superglue right here?

I am going to do it MY WAY, just like Frank Sinatra (except without the tuxedo because I have no idea how to tie a bow tie and I really, really can’t be bothered learning).

I spent my entire youth being told what to do and frankly, I got rather sick of it. "Tuck in your shirt. Stop picking your nose. Stop putting snails down your sister’s dress. Blah, blah, blah. Don’t throw footballs inside the house. Eat your broccoli. Learn these complicated maths equations that you will never, ever use again." It was relentless.

Now I am a fully-grown human man the very last thing I want to do is listen to any further instructions or advice. Like most men, I have this thing called “man pride.”

Some external observers won’t understand man pride. They won’t get why we men don’t listen and why we keep behaving in these stubborn, pig-headed, idiotic ways. But man pride is a powerful force. When I stand on that golf tee, launch a ball 30 degrees right and yet again watch it sail over someone’s fence, do I consider getting a lesson? Of course not! I’ve got more man pride than that. It’s just a little ball and a stick. I can figure it out myself. And if my shots keep landing in someone’s backyard, do you know what I am going to do? I am going to spend $500 and get a stick which isn’t so useless.

Naturally, man pride does me no favours. I get lost on the way to the golf course and play erratically once I get there. Whenever I slide into my Ikea bed, I worry it could collapse at any moment. When I look down at my leg, there’s a weird, freaky scar there.

Man pride can be particularly damaging when it comes to mental health. Unfortunately, most of us have never really been taught how to deal with things like complex emotions, difficult thoughts and times of high stress. Rather than do the unthinkable and ask for help, we concoct our own strategies - most of which are about as dumb and dangerous as self-supergluing a flesh wound.

Thankfully, RAW Mind Coach allows you to learn all that essential life-changing stuff without sacrificing the smallest slither of man pride. The e-learning program teaches a range of practical resilience skills, so when life puts you in a tough spot, you’ll know how to mentally MacGyver your way out of it and bounce back even stronger. Best of all, RAW Mind Coach doesn’t give you one narrow path to follow. Just like Franky, you can do it your way.

Now, I understand if you have your reservations. After all, you are reading the words of someone who thought superglue was a sound alternative to professional medical help. Luckily for you, RAW Mind Coach was built based on solid research and the knowledge of highly qualified experts (I don’t quite know what all those letters after their names mean, but they are like black belts at this stuff).

If you are questioning whether any of this could be of value, I’d encourage you to do a quick self-assessment. If you can relate to any of the following five statements RAW Mind Coach will probably do you a world of good.

1. My mind is like a cocker spaniel in a field of butterflies

In this world of infinite distractions, do you find it hard focusing your attention on just one thing? Do you often find yourself going around in circles? Do you start chasing after one thought, only to be quickly drawn away by another?

In RAW Mind Coach you will learn mindfulness. It will help you become calmer, more centred and less caught up in all that stuff which is flying about inside your head.

2. I treat uncomfortable emotions like a filthy rodent which has just ran up my trouser leg.

“Get away from me! GET AWAY! Don’t you dare crawl any further sadness! You saw what happened to grief and heartbreak, didn’t you? That’s right, I locked them up in a little box, then drowned them in alcohol. Is that what you want?”

Emotions don’t have to be pushed away, locked up or blown to pieces like the baddies in a Rambo film. In RAW Mind Coach we’ll show you how to get along with your emotions far more successfully.

3. My thoughts are like really annoying mosquitoes

Don’t you hate it when those pesky, irritating thoughts keep buzzing around in your head? Those persistent little buggers keep you awake at night but you can’t just reach inside and slap them against your skull or catch them with chopsticks Mr Miyagi style. It’s infuriatingly sucky.

In RAW Mind Coach you will learn ways of dealing with those persistent, annoying thoughts which don’t involve slapping yourself or inserting chopsticks through your earhole.

4. I’m fine.

Sure, you may have some really dark moods and some chest-tightening anxiousness. You may be struggling with a racing mind, constant stress or crappy sleep, but you’re completely, totally fine. Right? You don’t need any fancy-pants psychologising nonsense. You can just tough it out, man-style for the next 50 years or so. Right?

You could… but there is a far less painful way. RAW Mind Coach provides crucial knowledge, practical skills and more tools for dealing with tricky situations than a fully loaded Swiss Army knife. Rather than just be “fine” you can be super resilient and superbly equipped for whatever life throws at you. That’s way better, isn’t it?

5. I’m human.

If you’re human you are going to have a brain rattling around inside your noggin and that is a very complex bit of machinery. Despite this, it doesn’t come with an instruction book, so you may well have been relying on the (largely terrible) advice of others. Perhaps you have been told “try not to think about” or “just suck it up” or “Rover has gone to live on a lovely farm in the country.” Sadly, none of that was right.

If you are human you will experience all sorts of ups and downs in life. You will have to deal with relationship troubles, health scares, stressful work stuff and impotent rage at that stupid, malfunctioning printer. You may plan an epic road trip to the country in search of a beloved 28-year-old dog only to have some very cruel, distressing news revealed to you…

RAW Mind Coach gives you really good advice, straight up. It teaches you how to operate that big complex brain of yours and deal far more effectively with all that messy, unpredictable life stuff, because as a human, you are going to need that.

We want to make a real difference and we need you help. All we ask is for you to let your employer know about RAW Mind Coach. Simply send an email with a link to rawmindcoach.com and encourage them to make a very small and incredibly worthwhile investment.

 

Find out more

If you would like to discover more about RAW Mind Coach or register your interest please contact us.

 
 
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